speechless

Blogging Time

After wait for few days,finally I able back to my this little world.First of all,

when I open my facebook,I saw something I was unexpected.That's was a massage came from my ex .He wrote asked me to take care myself.At that moment,I felt this person,

at last he had changed his behaviour.I happy for him and his girlfriend,at least they able to be happy.When reflash back all his photo about his family wedding,his gf did attended too.It maked me think that I really a failure. I don't knew to communicate with elders,I just choose to keep quiet.I knew my ex mother dislike me,the main point was because I din't find any topic to chat with her.And because of I din't answer her

(Excuese me!I really dint't heard she did call me or asking me things!)

I helped him to visit his grandma in the old folks home.I still remember

I chat with the old lady.Listen to her telling story about her young time.That

moment,I felt really sorry for the old lady,because if

is my grandma,I felt guilty to put her there,and I do felt....

(If a house got an old people,it can brings alot of meaning,I hope my future..My house,

I able to live with my grandma,although she really like to

scolding people with ridiculos reason.But sometime she really

take care of us.Because of her,Sometime we have able to enjoy

some "Nyonya food" .

That moment,My ex help her grandma wearing a slipper,while I

chat with her,smile with her.This what I can do that moment.That's

the last chance I saw that old lady.I wished she is fine now.

****The moment,I stayed inside the old folks home,I felt pity towards the

old people and if can I really want to help them.Atleast,let them knew,

they are being abondon.

****My wish for my this year birthday,I hope this world have no more old folks home

,all the kids will take up the responsible to take care their parents.

*****I wished my ex and his gf happy and,I felt really happy at least he had changed.

****And!I want myself and my partner happy too

3rd day holiday

Tvb Drama day....

Today whole day,I din't planned to hang out.I sat in the sofa and watching.
"The princess Arrived".
I watched that part about the princess going to the jail,her husband still
not willing to leave her eventhought it may cause life danger.The princess choose to divorce because she thaught like that can having no more relationship with
her husband,her husband will not be caught into the jail cause of her.
Quite touching that scene.This what call as husband and wife.
They will not leave each other in the important time.

I just received a call,a friend from malacca.She said what should
we buy as present for the girl who gona birthday by 23 of october.
That moment I just kept quiet.I thinking something...something that about myself.
I din't expect any person to celebrate for me.Because I knew the happiest moment for me was eating with my family at the night every year during my birthday.
My dad will brought me to a restaurant.All the family member will arrived.
I can felt the love ,caring and warmess from the family,it make me felt I am not alone,I still got people care and love.
ALone staying outside,din't expect anyone or stranger
to remember or celebrate for me.but when the moment the friend
asking me what should we gave for the girl birthday,I do felt the pain.
I just kept quiet.
Another girl call me up and asked how is it..I just answered
as you all like.
I have no opinion.

Every of us is a good actor or actress in this world.Smilling does not mean we are happy,just because a smile can answer and represent everything that couldn 't describe inside the heart.
Smile neither happy nor sad.It just emotion,that
lets people around us felt happy and comfortable.

2nd day holiday

Holiday Mood

Finally is my turn holiday! After struggling with the exam for 2 week,finally

I back to my home sweet home...I miss my bear,my bed,my blanket.Today

I went to MP with my mum,"MIX GRILL"is my first choice.It combined seafood

with smashed potato and beef,my favourite.Last night I went out with a friend watched a movie.

But at first I thaught to reject,but he had bought the ticket,then no choice.I have to go.But

unexpected things was the movie was quite nice also.After back to home,my best friend sms me,asking

why I asked him out but not asking my boyfriend out.The first time he talked to me like that,I quite shocked.Recently he had changed alot.I wonder what was bothering him?Or will our friendship

will be lasting for the rest of the life..since after together for 5 years,is it this called as the
challange from the god?I always thaught we are prefect best friend.Many people said,

boys and girls could'nt be best friend.But I every time show to them,I did.I did had

a male best friend. Boys and girls doesn't mean must have love feeling just can hang out...

Recently I had a big crushed with my boyfriend.From the day,I sat inside the bus

back from Malacca to Ipoh.I din't expected anything from him.I just sat at there look at the mirror.

I asked myself,is it this what I want in the future?I don't know.Or maybe can thaught as

I know the answer,but I choose not to face it."Caring,jeoulus and attention" from my boyfriend,I din't had it.Sometime he does gave me alot of freedom,I admit.But is it abit over?I even can hang out with guys till midnight,without thinking will he felt jeoulus or not..because in my mind,I knew the answer."He won't".

Sometime I even told him what happened between I and others guys,but it seem no effect

.Maybe he is right,he don't want argue,he want peace.That's why he choose to kept quiet.

But it does more and more making me felt that I am not important..Even I chased by others guy.

he had no response.Or maybe he just take it easy.

I like freedom,but not this kind of freedom....I choose to ran away from him this few days.

I don't know what to say to him.